All Time Record
| 163-180 | 0.475 | 17 | 35922.3 | 36944.5 | 9-10 | 0.474 | 2070.3 | 2178.8 | 
						All Time Season History
            
| 2024 | 3-11 | 0.214 | 1 | 1422 | 1785 |  | Toilet Bowl Champion | 
| 2023 | 10-4 | 0.714 | 1 | 1616.3 | 1575.3 | 4 | 0-1 | 80.1 | 150 |  | 
| 2022 | 8-6 | 0.571 | 1 | 1656.35 | 1536.6 | 6 | 0-1 | 80.7 | 127.65 |  | 
| 2021 | 8-6 | 0.571 | 4 | 1889.1 | 1508 |  |  | 
| 2020 | 7-6 | 0.538 | 2 | 1510.55 | 1376.6 | 6 | 0-1 | 94.6 | 101.7 |  | 
| 2019 | 9-4 | 0.692 | 1 | 1505 | 1495 | 3 | 1-1 | 236 | 204 | WALTER PAYTON DIVISION Division Champion | 
| 2018 | 4-9 | 0.308 | 0 | 1233 | 1513 |  |  | 
| 2017 | 6-7 | 0.462 | 0 | 1294 | 1452 |  |  | 
| 2016 | 7-6 | 0.538 | 3 | 1458 | 1431 |  |  | 
| 2015 | 7-6 | 0.538 | 0 | 1351 | 1388 | 6 | 0-1 | 85 | 147 |  | 
| 2014 | 7-6 | 0.538 | 0 | 1357 | 1483 |  |  | 
| 2013 | 4-9 | 0.308 | 0 | 1375 | 1593 |  |  | 
| 2012 | 6-7 | 0.462 | 0 | 1380 | 1367 |  |  | 
| 2011 | 6-7 | 0.462 | 0 | 1508 | 1516 |  | Toilet Bowl Champion | 
| 2010 | 8-5 | 0.615 | 0 | 1503 | 1449 | 4 | 2-1 | 384 | 359 |  | 
| 2009 | 3-10 | 0.231 | 0 | 1065 | 1353 |  |  | 
| 2008 | 3-10 | 0.231 | 0 | 941 | 1343 |  |  | 
| 2007 | 3-10 | 0.231 | 0 | 1264 | 1479 |  |  | 
| 2006 | 8-5 | 0.615 | 1 | 1526 | 1357 | 5 | 0-1 | 99 | 123 |  | 
| 2005 | 8-5 | 0.615 | 1 | 1468 | 1391 | 5 | 1-1 | 218 | 223 |  | 
| 2004 | 7-6 | 0.538 | 1 | 1443 | 1314 |  |  | 
| 2003 | 7-6 | 0.538 | 0 | 1266 | 1250 |  | Toilet Bowl Champion | 
| 2002 | 4-9 | 0.308 | 0 | 1326 | 1459 |  |  | 
| 2001 | 6-7 | 0.462 | 0 | 1066 | 1089 |  |  | 
| 2000 | 6-7 | 0.462 | 1 | 1209 | 1260 |  |  | 
| 1999 | 8-6 | 0.571 | 0 | 1290 | 1181 | 4 | 0-1 | 83 | 99 |  | 
						All Time Regular Season Records by Opponent
| Christ Punchers | 3-9 | 0.250 | 1119.55 | 1471.6 | 
| Cleveland Steamers | 31-21 | 0.596 | 5568 | 5131.65 | 
| Crash N Burn | 13-5 | 0.722 | 2003.25 | 1976.9 | 
| Fightin Burbillies | 4-11 | 0.267 | 1693.85 | 1709.35 | 
| Guppies | 14-38 | 0.269 | 5244.35 | 5759.45 | 
| Liquid Ass | 7-9 | 0.438 | 1570.05 | 1535 | 
| Panty Droppers | 9-12 | 0.429 | 2154.65 | 2427.4 | 
| Rambo | 27-23 | 0.540 | 5450.1 | 5315.65 | 
| Rancid Rice | 8-9 | 0.471 | 1755.3 | 1853.7 | 
| Straight Bourbon | 9-2 | 0.818 | 1081.05 | 1037.2 | 
| Tallywhackers | 8-7 | 0.533 | 1528.9 | 1428.05 | 
| The Dead Rabbits | 5-6 | 0.455 | 1197.35 | 1303.4 | 
| The Usual Suspects | 23-28 | 0.451 | 5333.9 | 5884.15 | 
| The Bulldogs | 1-0 | 1.000 | 115 | 66 | 
| The Gomorrahs | 1-0 | 1.000 | 107 | 45 | 
						Team Name History
| Angry Clowns | 2017-2024 | 
| Hawkwings | 2009-2016 | 
| Purple Cobras | 2008 | 
| Really Rambunctious Guys | 2004-2007 | 
| Homos Erectus | 2003 | 
| Homos Erectus | 2001-2002 | 
| AC Twinkies | 1999-2000 | 
						All Time Playoff Records by Opponent
| Christ Punchers | 0-3 | 0.000 | 298.6 | 369.3 | 
| Crash N Burn | 0-1 | 0.000 | 99 | 123 | 
| Fightin Burbillies | 0-1 | 0.000 | 108 | 115 | 
| Guppies | 1-3 | 0.250 | 385.6 | 485.25 | 
| Liquid Ass | 2-1 | 0.667 | 335.7 | 310.65 | 
| Rambo | 1-1 | 0.500 | 231.7 | 287.5 | 
| Straight Bourbon | 2-0 | 1.000 | 210.55 | 180.25 | 
| Tallywhackers | 1-0 | 1.000 | 144.15 | 104.85 | 
| The Usual Suspects | 2-0 | 1.000 | 257 | 203 | 
						All Time Toilet Bowl Records by Opponent
| Cleveland Steamers | 2-0 | 1.000 | 193 | 180 | 
| Fightin Burbillies | 1-1 | 0.500 | 149 | 176 | 
| Liquid Ass | 1-2 | 0.333 | 332 | 348 | 
| Panty Droppers | 0-4 | 0.000 | 374 | 458 | 
| Rambo | 2-2 | 0.500 | 473 | 508 | 
| Rancid Rice | 1-1 | 0.500 | 198 | 185 | 
| Straight Bourbon | 1-0 | 1.000 | 73 | 53 | 
| Tallywhackers | 1-1 | 0.500 | 199 | 266 | 
| The Dead Rabbits | 2-0 | 1.000 | 282 | 152 | 
| The Usual Suspects | 1-1 | 0.500 | 204 | 193 |